What really predicts attraction and lasting romance?
This is a preview based on the episode’s show notes, not a recap of the audio. Dr. Paul Eastwick joins Huberman Lab to explore what people seek in partners, why dating apps can mislead selection, and which factors appear to matter most for attraction, stability, and relationship satisfaction.
**Preview based on published show notes — not a full recap of the episode.** If you’re curious whether modern dating advice matches relationship science, this episode looks aimed squarely at that question. According to the notes, Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at UC Davis who studies human mate selection, discusses what people *actually* look for in a partner and how those preferences play out in real relationships. A major draw here is the mix of broad theory and practical application. The episode appears to cover evolutionary models of dating, first impressions, shared experiences, attachment theory, and the ways attraction can change over time. It also promises discussion of specific variables many listeners care about—physical attractiveness, finances, age preferences, ambition, wanting children, and perceived similarity. The show notes suggest a strong focus on the gap between what people select for and what supports long-term compatibility. Dating apps are a recurring theme, especially how app-based choices and algorithms may push attention toward traits that don’t necessarily predict lasting partnership quality. There also seem to be segments on texting, asking better questions, observing social behavior on dates, and activities or group settings that can widen your dating pool. This may be especially useful for listeners who want evidence-informed perspectives on both starting and sustaining relationships. The notes indicate coverage of social support, couple friendships, infidelity-related temptations via social media, breakups, and physical intimacy in relation to satisfaction—so it seems relevant whether you’re dating, partnered, or rethinking how compatibility works.
About this episode
Dr. Paul Eastwick, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and a leading expert on the modern science of mate selection in humans. We discuss what people actually look for in a partner, including surprising findings about age preferences, finances, and physical attractiveness. We also discuss why dating apps often lead people to select for traits that don't support lasting partnerships. We discuss how initial attractions form and evolve and which factors best predict romantic relationship stability and satisfaction. We also explain activities that can expand your dating pool, as well as practical tools for building and sustaining healthy romantic relationships. This episode is for anyone currently in or wanting to be in a relationship. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Pre-order Protocols: https://protocolsbook.com Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman David: https://davidprotein.com/huberman Lingo: https://hellolingo.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Paul Eastwick (00:03:25) Evolutionary Models of Dating, Mate Value (00:08:57) Initial Attraction, Maturity (00:12:56) Sponsors: David & Lingo (00:15:21) Dating Apps; Shared Moments & Developing Attraction (00:24:17) First Impressions & Early Relationships; Partner Bias (00:31:41) Friends & Family Support; Relationship Research, Attachment Theory (00:42:15) Sponsor: AG1 (00:43:34) Couple Friends, Advice from Others (00:47:35) Social Support, Women vs Men (00:55:05) Dating App Algorithms, Distrust of Men & Women (01:05:29) Activities & Dating, Observing Date Social Behavior (01:11:25) Texting, Verbal Skills (01:16:15) Sponsor: LMNT (01:17:36) Partner Actions, Dating vs Relationship (01:22:57) Dating & Asking Good Questions; Genuine Connection (01:29:36) Attraction, What Qualities Men & Women Want (01:36:18) Homosexual Dating & Relationships (01:40:08) Finances; Job Loss; Men vs Women, Ambition (01:46:28) Sponsor: Function (01:48:05) Age Difference, Men vs Women Preference; Wanting Children (01:54:58) Church, Activities, Small Groups & Dating; Work; Perceived Similarity (02:07:10) Social Media, Attraction to Alternative Partners, Infidelity (02:19:13) Stranger Attention, Mate Value (02:24:58) Past Relationship Value; Relationship Duration, Breakups (02:34:33) Physical Intimacy & Relationship Satisfaction (02:39:32) Young Adults & Changing Relationships, Technology (02:47:31) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Protocols Book, Sponsors, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices