A son moves in with his absent father—and finds an unexpected path to healing
This Modern Love episode, based on the published show notes, previews Julian Brave NoiseCat’s story of reconnecting with his father after years of distance. Through shared nights, family history, and reflections on fatherhood, it explores how a fractured bond began to change.
This is a preview based on the episode’s published show notes, not a recap of the audio. If you’re drawn to family stories that mix hurt, myth, and hard-won connection, this episode looks like a strong listen. The setup is immediately compelling: Julian Brave NoiseCat grew up with a father who was more legend than daily presence—an artist known for wood carvings, big stories, and a life that seemed to happen elsewhere. According to the notes, the turning point came when Julian was 28. While working on the documentary *Sugarcane* and writing his book *We Survived the Night*, both tied to his father and family history, he moved into his dad’s house. What follows sounds intimate and unusual: days spent researching and writing, and nights spent building a relationship through hanging out and playing “bong-hit Scrabble.” The episode appears to center on more than reconciliation alone. The notes suggest it also digs into a dark chapter of the family’s past and how that history helped father and son better understand each other. There’s also a forward-looking thread, as Julian reflects on his own journey to fatherhood. Why listen? Expect a personal story about absence, identity, and the messy ways closeness can develop later than anyone hoped. If you like conversations about intergenerational healing, complicated parents, and the overlap between creative work and family reckoning, this one seems especially worth queuing up.
About this episode
<p>Growing up, Julian Brave NoiseCat’s father, Ed Archie NoiseCat, wasn’t around much. Other than the occasional ride to hockey practice from his dad, Julian mostly remembers the legends about him. Ed is an artist, famous for his wood carvings and larger-than-life stories. Julian remembers seeing him on the cover of Native Peoples magazine and hearing about his escapades driving across the country. What Julian could never understand, however, was why his dad couldn’t just be his dad, and be there consistently.</p> <p>For years, Julian didn’t have much contact with his father, but when he was 28, he decided to change that. He was working on the documentary “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/01/opinion/oscar-sugarcane-nomination.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Sugarcane</a>,” later nominated for an Academy Award, and writing his book, “We Survived the Night,” published last year. Both projects deeply involved his father and their family’s history. So Julian moved into his dad’s house. During the day, he would research and write, and at night, he would hang out with his father, playing “bong-hit Scrabble” and forging a relationship they previously never had.</p> <p>On this episode of “Modern Love,” Julian explains what those nights with his father meant to him, and how uncovering a dark chapter of his family’s history helped him and his father better understand each other. He also reflects on his own journey to fatherhood.</p> <p><strong>We Want to Hear From You</strong></p> <p>Email us at <a href="mailto:modernlove@nytimes.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com</a>. Here’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">how to submit a Modern Love essay</a>. Here’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">how to submit a Tiny Love Story</a>.</p> <p> </p> <p><p>Subscribe today at <a href="http://nytimes.com/podcasts">nytimes.com/podcasts</a> or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher">https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher</a>. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.</p></p><br/> <p>Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.</p>